The beginning was with one blackboard, which carried the general information of the next get together of the Nabin: the literary forum of Cotton college. I had seen it just in front of the Conference Hall. Those were my new days of my college life. What attracted me the most was the names of those Poets whose poems already touched my heart and mind….whom I was keen to meet in my real life.
I stepped forward to attend that meeting whose venue was one room at the ground floor of the Main building. I imagined the arrangement would be a huge arrangement, because I had seen quite a few famous Assamese poets’ name in that Black board. But my first Nabin meeting was an very informal get together with the least arrangement through my eyes. But that informal get together left its foot prints in my heart for which, today I am writing some thing about our Nabin, just to recollect those memories, those life lines, those faces and many more unspoken words.
Afterwards, whenever I was informed about any get together of Nabin, I did not think twice to bunk my classes. Because my Mathematics major classes were not canceled due to the Nabin meetings. Nabin was a way of my relaxation, where I could listen different poets’ own recitation. Those were my most heavenly moments in my college life. I was not a poet, but I was also inspired to drop a few words in my pages in the passing times of Nabin, which might be the least priority words for the Nabin people. But I still remember the moment of my joy when I saw my name in the wall magazine “Fenhujaali”.
For me, Nabin meant Manju Madam (Manju Devi Pegu)….without her presence, Nabin meetings were not held there. Keeping aside her ill health, Manju madam was always ready to enlighten the charm of the get togethers. Nabin was that platform which produced many well known literary intellectuals. I am really proud of those, who are now at a very good status in the Assamese literature.
But Nabin gave me the highest pain also in the name of Love….my first love at my teen age….I must say. From the very beginning of Nabin, I ran to those Nabin meetings only to listen HIS poetry. I had found my life in his words. Whatever he was writing, those carried the fragrance of my life….I liked to be with it for the maximum time of my life. He was the upcoming Poet at that time. He was also well known in the Assamese literary world. Slowly I started falling in Love with his words. I was becoming Mad for his words. I kept waiting eagerly and impatiently for his next writings….it might be his worst poem also.
Slowly my Love for his words turned into the Love for him….without my knowledge. He got the MISCONCEPT of my Love, which was mainly for his words, not for him personally. With the help of some people, my Love was focused differently in the Nabin with the passing time. But my poet was truly in love for some one else who was also at our college…but not in Nabin. So definitely my Love had to be rejected from his side….because whatever he dropped through his pen, those were meant for her only, not for me.
My true love for his words was turned into that love which I did not feel for him…..the whole episode definitely hurt my sentiment. That’s why, slowly, I started avoiding my Nabin craziness, where I was the most rejected person in the name of Love. I started ignoring his writings also….because my love became the matter of my Prestige and personality also.
Slowly, people could understand the actual picture….even that poet also who had the greatest misconcept about himself. But that was too late…..I could not replace myself forgetting every thing in the same platform of Nabin. Now he is one of the famous poets of Assamese literature who starts writing Novels also.
I have not mentioned my Nabin issue any where in my life. But today, I simply want to say, whatever it was, my love was really pure and innocent….for which he lose atleast one reader of his write ups, which may definitely not a matter for him……I know.