I talk a lot….I think it is not necessary to admit my nature for those who know me. But I have to keep silent in front of my Kaamwali Bai (here in Mumbai the house maid is called as Bai). Because she has so many stories about her life that I generally do not get the chance to speak a single word. Some times her stories make me laugh…but some times they seem to be a bit irritating also…specially when she comes just after my arrival from IIT. At that time, I do not have the enough courage to listen her stories, but she still continues them in her own way.
Yesterday, she explained me how she got married. I had to listen her because she became a bit emotional also. She was married quite lately, according to their society. Her family members got tensed about her marriage also. Still she refused one almost finalized marriage only because of the dowry demanded from the groom side. She even refused her husband at the first proposal, because he demanded Rupees fifty thousand as the dowry for his sister’s marriage, not for his personal purpose. But still she had the argument with him and canceled the marriage herself. But after three years later. her would be mother-in-law forced her to tie the knot with him without any dowry. Because her logic and stand for her family’s financial status impressed her mother-in-law and according to her, my Bai would be the perfect match for her husband. Ultimately she tied the knot, but with the least dowry and some cash which was fixed in her name only.
Now she is happy with her husband, maintaining her own life by herself without depending on her husband. She earns almost equal to her husband and that’s why she has a strong position in her in-laws also. I appreciate her life style. Some times she gave very good logic for her life, which I bound to think later on. Though her life and my life are quite different in our way, still some logics and some mottoes, I can not ignore. Though her family was not financially well, still she had her own self respect….for which she dared to cancel her marriage for several times only because of the dowry.
At the first meeting, my friend was asked about her bank balance by the guy who met her for marriage. She refused the guy at the first sight…because she was quite doubt about the feelings of that guy..exactly which was his true feeling…the feeling for a girl or her bank balance. I know some body whose ATM card was used by her so called fiancée from several years. Whenever she asked him about the card, that day he gave her a big lecture about the savings for their future. I felt sorry for my friend who could not touch her own earnings…if that was the situation before her marriage, what would be it after marriage.
Some people say that today’s generation support their wives for the jobs only because of their earnings…not because of their financial independence. My mother says that woman will be independent in their way only when they will be financially independent…financial independence means her own earnings which she can use by herself without asking any body. My friend is not an independent woman, in fact she is the earning machine for her husband whose ATM card is used by him without her knowledge.
Some body asked me what we, the wives, wanted from our husbands. Honestly speaking, I could not answer that fellow properly, because I want every thing from my husband.
What do you think???