It was on the previous night of my Degree part I examination. We, all the candidates, were preparing for the exam. Since it was our first final exam in our degree course, obviously we got a bit tensed over it. Suddenly we heard the sounds of some body’s crying…we did not expect such type of situation in our hostel on that very night. Though it was the full exam time, still we could not ignore the sound. Our room mate, who was junior to us and whose exam was not there at our place, went out to know the situation. After her arrival, when we got informed about the actual matter, I could not but stop getting angry of that situation. Still I tried to be calm only because of my next day’s exam. But after some time, our another room mate was called by the girls who made that unexpected situation just on the previous night of our exam.
One girl of our hostel, staying at different room, went out continuously for few days to meet her cousin. We all knew it and there was no point to worry about that from my view point. But that day, she was found at a very controversial position with her cousin at one park, where some other girls went there to spend few moments. Those girls informed her room mates about it which created a serious situation at our hostel. I was at that time when they informed the room mates….so unnecessarily I also became the witness of that situation.
I was not worry about that situation….any thing horrible could not interfere my studies. Because I was strong enough to face all the obstacles coming to my life regardless of their timings. Besides I was already having the tension of my father’s illness at that time. So that unexpected situation could not hamper my studies though I was also called to judge the things. I personally requested them to postpone the situation for our exams. I was quite doubtful about that person who dared to issue it first on that previous night of our final exam. That hurt me more than the situation when I came to know about that girl who first placed the unexpected situation on that night. She was a very good senior to me..in fact I considered her to be my sister also who thought for my studies. That night, I simply asked her why she placed that situation on the eve of my exam…she told me that she could not bear her room mate for that incident.
Passing through that horrible night of our small private hostel, we all appeared for the exam on the next day. After the exam, the situation became settled and every thing was cleared to every one….except me. I could not believe that that situation was completely a sudden situation. Circumstances bounded me to think for it in some different way….from my view point, every body could wait for a single night to know the truth. There was no such urgency to know it at that very night….I felt so. I am still having the doubt…whether they were my well wishers or whether that situation was preplanned to hamper my studies????
My friends and juniors often tell me that we should forget our past incidents which has the bad memories….but I think memories are meant for the sorrow only. We can not be refreshed by recollecting our old memories. If our memories carry the happinesses to us…then they also leave the sorrows also for passing away those sweet days. If your memories bring the sadness to you, then they will leave the fear in you also for not getting them back again. If you forget those incidents from which you got some lessons, then how will you be careful in your coming future???
I do not want to erase some of my memories by which I became matured to some extent. I want to memorize those incidents which taught me some lessons regarding my life. Regarding some matters, I also do not forgive some persons. Because for me….in some cases, FORGIVENESS may raise a big question on your personality. If you forgive those persons, then your forgiveness may be identified as the weak point and selfishness of your personality also.
Though most of the people consider the forgiveness to be the best way to live life peacefully, but I feel it some thing more chaos in some one’s life. Since once it makes a question mark on your personality, then it will be much more difficult to continue your life to the end of it, instead of living it peacefully. Peace comes through your strong personality, not from the weaknesses…..