My friend asked her fiancé to deposit the total amount at her bank account so that she could buy herself all the necessary stuffs which was supposed to be given her as the prenuptial agreement from the groom’s side….that is our JURUN in Assamese culture. Jurun is a token of love and commitment from the groom’s side which is sent to the bride few days before the marriage. Basically it contains some dress material, some ornaments and some necessary stuffs which is given to the bride as a symbol of affection.
From my view point, Jurun is some thing to be judged as the gift from the groom’s family to the bride welcoming to their house. If this Jurun is managed by the bride herself, then it can not be considered as Gift….it is some thing demanded by the bride to get married in that family.
On the contrary, my friend’s fiancé changed the total design of the furniture which was supposed to give with the bride from her family to her new house…which can be more appropriately defined as DOWRY…..in Assamese it is JOUTUK. Joutuk is some necessary goods which are given with the bride so that she would not face any problem in a completely new family. This Joutuk is exclusively the most necessary goods for a girl which she might need at the very next day of that new house.
Basically the original concept of Jurun and Joutuk sound like that. But with the passing time, the basic definition also got changed. Now both the system seems to be some thing fashionable which signifies the Status also to some extent. If Jurun can not be demanded, then Joutuk also has no right to get demanded.
But our society is getting so up to date day by day that it causes some times a serious problem for those whose financial condition does not allow them to step with that. Still some how they try to manage to get relieved from the so called system of the modern society. But after the marriage, what might be the situation for that family, no body could imagine.
If you wish the happy married life of your daughter, then the heavy Joutuk could not make it happy….just think if after the marriage, she comes to know about the severe financial crisis which you bear for her marriage, she would feel guilty of herself.
Similarly, if you demand the Jurun from your fiancé which might not be in his capability, just think the situation after marriage in which your husband might face the severe financial problem which might cause some problems with you also.
Prepare yourself in that way that if possible you can stand with your financial independence….if possible you can take all the necessary stuffs which you require instead of demanding any one. A single day pleasure may not continue the actual love and affection in the entire married life. If you are financially independent then try to avoid asking for the Jurun and Joutuk.
Most important, don’t be upset if you find your friend in a heavy Jurun or Joutuk!!!!!